How to Overcome Awkwardness When Networking Internally and Externally

If you’ve ever stood in a crowded conference room, clutching your drink like a lifeline, silently calculating how many more minutes you need to “be seen” before making a discreet exit—you’re in good company. Networking, for many professionals feels more like a performance review you didn’t prepare for than a chance to build meaningful relationships.

Awkwardness isn’t a flaw in your professional polish—it’s a byproduct of pressure.

Yet here’s the truth I remind my clients: awkwardness isn’t a flaw in your professional polish—it’s a byproduct of pressure. And pressure can be managed. Networking doesn’t have to feel transactional or forced. With a shift in mindset and a few intentional moves, it can become one of the most powerful accelerators in your career toolkit.

Why We Feel Awkward—And Why It’s Actually a Good Sign

That unease you feel? It often stems from three sources:

• Fear of judgment (“What if I say something I’ll regret?”)

• Uncertainty about how to start (“What’s the opener that doesn’t sound rehearsed?”)

• Pressure to impress (“This conversation has to count.”)

Here’s the reframe: The most effective networkers aren’t those who sparkle in every moment—they’re those who are fully present. When you stop performing and start listening, you replace the tension of self-consciousness with the ease of genuine connection.

Coach’s tip: Before you enter the room, set one intention: I’m here to connect, not to convince. You’ll be surprised how quickly the pressure drops.

Small Talk Isn’t Small—It’s the Opening Act

In executive circles, we tend to dismiss small talk as superficial. But think of it as a warm-up—a low-stakes way to establish rapport before the deeper conversation begins.

Here’s my refined framework for making it work:

1. Ask open-ended questions – “What’s something you’re working on right now that excites you?” signals genuine curiosity.

2. Listen like it matters – Make eye contact, mirror their phrasing, and reflect back insights. Presence speaks louder than wit.

3. Show authentic enthusiasm – Not theatrical, just warm. Energy is contagious.

4. Stay off your phone – Nothing kills momentum faster than glancing at your screen mid-story.

Coach’s tip: Prepare one thoughtful question tied to the event or industry—something you can adapt on the fly.

Walking In with Confidence—Even If You Don’t Feel It

Confidence in networking isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room; it’s about having a plan for your first five minutes.

• Scan strategically: Look for small clusters or individuals; they’re often more receptive than large, closed groups.

• Lead with context: “How are you finding the event so far?” is disarming and situationally relevant.

• Reframe your role: You’re not there to “pitch”—you’re there to start a conversation that may evolve into something bigger.

Coach’s tip: Before the event, visualize one successful interaction—what you say, how they respond, and how you leave the exchange. Your mind rehearses as if it’s already happened.

The Post-Event Advantage

Where many executives falter is in the follow-up. A conversation without continuity is a missed opportunity.

Within 24 hours:

• Send a personalized note referencing a specific part of your discussion.

• Connect on LinkedIn with context for where you met.

• Capture quick notes for yourself on who they are and why the conversation mattered.

Coach’s tip: In your follow-up, include one piece of value—an article, introduction, or insight. This shifts the interaction from transaction to contribution.

Awkward Is a Phase—Not an Identity

Even the most polished leaders occasionally feel like the new kid in the cafeteria. The key isn’t to eliminate awkwardness—it’s to stop letting it dictate your behavior. See it as a signal: this matters to you.

And when something matters, it deserves your attention, not your avoidance.

Coach’s tip: The next time nerves creep in, take a breath and say to yourself, Connection over perfection.

Final thought: Networking isn’t about “working the room.” It’s about making the room feel smaller—more personal—by creating genuine points of contact. Start with one conversation, let it unfold naturally, and remember: every executive you admire was once the person standing on the edge, wondering where to begin.

Quick Confidence Boosters Before Your Next Event:

• Prepare three go-to conversation starters.

• Practice your “what do you do” in a way that sounds like a story, not a sales pitch.

• Set a goal: “I’ll start three new conversations.”

• Remind yourself: awkward is just the beginning, not the end.

So go ahead. Be the person who makes networking feel less stiff and more human. That’s how real connections—and real opportunities—are made.

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