The review itself isn’t usually the problem. It’s how we approach it.

Performance reviews aren’t going away. If you approach them as opportunities to judge, you’ll get defensiveness. If you approach them as opportunities to guide, you’ll get growth.

It is natural to get defensive when receiving negative feedback. Our brains treat criticism as a form of social threat, and we respond as if we’ve just been cornered.

Most leaders know the classic advice for briefing a senior executive: keep it short, start with the bottom line, and stay on point. That’s not wrong—but it’s only half the equation.

You worked hard, and you earned the promotion. But now comes the awkward part: Your former peers are now your direct reports… and no one gave you a guidebook.